Being Different

Gooooood morning!

Hope everyone's doing well.

Today's another one of my days off (as I usually work on weekends and public holidays). Recently I've been thinking about many things which have been repeating themselves ever since I was young. So I figured it's time to make my story public and let people know what I think. 

I have a feeling many of you could relate to such situations.

Let's begin.

Things had started from primary school onwards.

Whenever I tried joining a group of classmates during break-time to play a game with them, they would just look at each other and laugh. They would call me nasty names, knowing that I wouldn't dare to reply, they'd just continue till I'd eventually walk off.

During gym class, the teacher would ask us to pair up in groups of two. Though I'd always end up partnering up with the teacher herself as nobody would want to pair up with the 'uncool kid'. I also remember when the teacher chose students at random to create a group to work on a project together. She had taken care of the toughest job for me as nobody would want to work with me. Although, the minute the group was made, the students I was with, began to grumble;

"Ugh great, I'm with her."

It wasn't the first time that I tried to speak to them, though they would never give me a reply. Another time, we had to change our places in class and the same story repeated itself - the girl was grumbling because she had to sit next to me, the English speaking weirdo. This time, I went to speak to the teacher and she changed her place. All the teachers seemed to notice the same things as I did.

I had become so conscious thinking that maybe I had a bad smell on me or maybe I had accidentally dropped something on me but hadn't noticed.. Though that didn't seem to be the problem,

The problem was that I was different.

Different.. 

Till this day, I still get picked on. I still notice people giving strange facial expressions to each other and laughing at me. Yes, I may be a quiet person, I may prefer speaking in English,

but,

Everyone is different. Someone may prefer to wear different types of clothing that isn't of someone else's style. Someone may have a hobby that perhaps not many people seem to have.

So what?

Don't judge. Everyone is enjoying what they love to do. Let them be themselves. Let people live their life the way they want.

You got your life, so live it the way you want to.

Don't live for the sake of satisfying others,

do it for yourself and make yourself happy.

Now, go out there and SMILE! Be happy to be who you are, regardless of what people say.

Remember, it's YOUR life.

Norma x

You Learn From Your Mistakes

Mondays! We all love Mondays, am I right? Probably not.

Most of us probably had a relaxing weekend, but for some people Mondays can be just another day as not everyone has the weekend off. Anyway, It's a fresh week! Hope you're all having a good day with a nice cup - or should I say - massive - mug of coffee helping you through the day.

As for me, I've been ill for the past week. However, in these past couple of days it got worse. Last Saturday I was feeling so light headed at work - we were so terribly busy and that didn't help at all. Yesterday, I spent the whole day in bed and today - well, same story.

This means I'm spending more time at home, which also means more time to think and reflect about things that have been happening recently. Like those life decisions we make when we'd be in the shower or in the car listening to some sort of slow music, dramatically looking out the window - you get what I mean! I'd assume that a lot of us right now are currently thinking about school or trying to think of the best ways to enjoy the last few weeks of summer..

I am also thinking the same and I am honestly so excited to start school! I feel that this time I am actually going to like my new course and am determined to stay till the end (as I had already quit half way through in 2 or 3 courses before).

Although, what has been really going through my head, is what has currently been happening - something I've experienced.. Something that really surprised me in the beginning, then had eventually become my 'happy place' until it finally proved me wrong and literally destroyed me.

As I had mentioned before, of course I enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them. I love hearing about people's life experiences and become so inspired by many. They always encourage me to live my life better just by listening to their stories.

Though not long ago, I met this person who I never thought I'd even say "Hello" to as they gave off quite a negative vibe, until one day they actually came up to me themselves and I was so shocked. We eventually began to talk and I started feeling so happy that I had finally found someone who understands me and just makes me feel so comfortable that I could literally say anything to. This person inspired me so much and made me change my view on life - in a better way.

I began thinking about how sudden this all happened. Thinking that maybe, somehow, it could be a sign and how amazing it would be if this friendship grew stronger..

My expectations were sky high.

After a few days, I noticed we weren't keeping in touch as much as we were. I was starting to get worried. What could have happened? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? What is it? Maybe it's another sign.. Although if it were, it isn't a good one.

I then received a text.

I felt sick to my stomach, slowly registering what I had just read, over and over, I realised then that it was all too good to be true. My expectations were obviously too high. This person just didn't want to build a friendship like I did. Not only was I disappointed about what happened, but I was also disappointed in myself - I just made this person my only 'happy place' and it just broke me down. I didn't know what else to do. I was hurt. I made myself so vulnerable, falling into a little trap. I wasn't myself for the next few days. I wasn't smiling - nothing. I was afraid of going through the same thing again but with someone else. I was completely avoiding everyone.

It hasn't been long since this has happened, but I am feeling slightly better as I am looking at this in a positive way. I know it has been a really sad experience but it has taught me a lesson - one that can prepare me for the future. I've learnt that we shouldn't rush, overthink or become too attached so quickly - it's always better to have low expectations, you'll be less likely to end up disappointed. Lastly, don't assume that everyone will treat you the same way. Don't think that after one bad experience, you won't make any new, good friends. You just have to be careful. Be careful about what you say - and when you say it. Make sure you know the person well enough before you share anything personal.

I believe that everything happens for a reason - whether it may be a bad or a good experience, you'll learn from it either way and don't regret anything.

Norma.. x

Change is Good

It's almost 3:00pm on a Saturday and I'm here sitting quietly in my room, with my laptop in front of me and a notebook by my side. I have my little window open and it is just so relaxing listening to the sounds of birds singing outside. For me, today just feels like a Sunday - couldn't be any better.

So recently I've been thinking about some things. A few weeks ago, I was being so moody, confused and always had an empty feeling inside - like something's missing. It's true, maybe I'm not the most outgoing person and I may not be the most sociable person either, but surely there had to be something else. I figured it could be my daily routine - repeating the same things every single day and just getting tired of it. Reminds me of that expression 'Different day, same shi*'. It's hilarious to be honest, but it's just so true!

How did I decide to fix this? Well, since I know that I usually like to spend more time at home, and I also know that I don't like to remain in the same environment, I thought, this room needs a change! This took a few days. First, I had cleaned my room and got rid of a lot of stuff I didn't need. Then, I rearranged some items and stuck a few posters here and there just to fill in some empty spaces. Lastly, I moved the furniture around - my favourite part. I have always been the type of person who gets easily bored of their surroundings. Be it my desk, where I then begin to move around the monitors, be it my bed, where I somehow try to move it around or change the pillows.. Anything!

So besides changing around a few things, it kept me busy and also improved my mood by seeing difference and left me with a feeling of accomplishment. I've never been an organised person and always was the one who'd throw clothes everywhere, whether it be when trying to decide what to wear or when i'd come back home and can't be bothered to clean up anything. Yep, my room was basically a great place to play treasure hunting (pity I've always played alone when trying to find one of my things!).

Another thing which I've began doing is READING! Yes, reading!

"Oh my god, are you serious? Is that really something new to you?

Hold on - don't you like writing, how haven't you ever been into reading?"

It's more the excuse of 'not having time', rather than disliking it. I'd rather find time to read when I know I have nothing planned during the day. If I'd have an appointment in the afternoon or I'd be going out somewhere, sometimes my mind focuses on that and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on what I'd supposed to be reading.

So while I was having a good look around my room and going through my stuff the other day, I came across a book called, "The Rescue" by Nicholas Sparks, which I had bought ages ago but I always kept it lying there on the shelf. I decided to try reading the first couple of pages, until I began reading chapter after chapter and ended up reading the whole book within a week! (Finished it yesterday, actually!) I found it so difficult to put down! I had already known about the author as I had watched the movie "The Lucky One" and from then I could imagine how great his book would be! This has encouraged me to continue reading as it really helped me to feel more relaxed and it's a good way to 'escape from reality'. I also have another book waiting for me, bought it yesterday, called "Girl Online" by Zoe Sugg, you probably have already heard of it - if not already finished it. I only managed to find it in stores yesterday and I'm so excited to start reading it!

Another thing which I'm trying to do, is limit the time I spend on social media. I remember when my parents used to read the newspaper every morning, nowadays our daily newspaper is called Facebook. From having piles of newspaper in the kitchen, to having completely none. I mean, it's great to catch up with friends and all that, but we exaggerate and don't realise the amount of time we've spent scrolling through our newsfeed.

Ever since I changed these little things, I've felt so much better. I kept myself occupied instead of lying in bed all day. Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes, I'm still working, but my hours aren't always super long and I get a few days off, too, so I got some free time. I also wish to add that this way of 'keeping myself occupied' is actually fun! I really do enjoy decorating my room, and if I could, I'd decorate the whole house, too! Can't wait till I get my own place and get to do all that!

I'm hoping to keep this up and try to keep myself thinking positive. Everyday I'll try doing something new and who knows, maybe I'll discover a new hobby!

I'll keep you updated as much as possible and hope that this has somehow inspired you :)

Hope you're having a great day and enjoy the rest of the weekend!

And remember...

is good! 

Norma x

I'm Back!

Hey there!

Long time no talk! I apologise for not posting for a couple of months.. I don't remember the reason why I had stopped to be honest. I am constantly writing in my everyday diary, however the minute I woke up this morning, I decided that this blog needs an update!

According to my last post, I last wrote in January. So many things have happened since. Lost relationships, new relationships, new friendships.. New experiences - which are mainly related to work as I have finally found a new job!

From January until around end of February I was still employed,  however I wasn't being given enough shifts so I figured it was time to find a new job. I gave out plenty of CVs until one day I was called for an interview and about 2 weeks later I had finally started working. This was between end of April and beginning of May. I had my doubts about this job, I honestly felt that I had no chance as the interview was definitely an unexpected one. This consisted of being on camera and playing group activities followed by a few questions. It was fun - but terrifying!

Although I have previous work experience, this job feels totally different. On the first day, I was lost, so nervous and it was nothing like how I expected it to be, This took about a couple of weeks to get used to. In fact, I wouldn't say i'm used to everything yet. Yes, I have improved, especially character wise, but there is always something new to learn and always room for more improvement.

Not only is it great to earn some money during the summer, but you also get to meet new people and learn how to deal with certain situations. Out of the 5 jobs i've had till now, no doubt do I prefer this one the most, as it has certainly tested me and got me out of certain comfort zones. Even regarding the staff whom I work with, I have never worked with such great people who make me feel at home.

Well, besides work,  I am going to get back to studying as from October. I had stopped about 3 courses half way, but this time, I really am going to try to do my best as I feel that it's something I really love. It's a course related to beauty therapy. I love art, and beauty consists of nail art, makeup etc. All of this is literally as if you're painting, except on a real person. Makeup has always been an essential to me and I want to advance my skills and have a job which i will truly love.

This is a quote which always inspires me

I am glad that i've finally got back to blogging. In my own personal diary, even if I have done absolutely nothing all day, I always seem to end up writing about something. My mind is always on the go and never seems to take a break. Every little thing makes me think, whether it be school, work, friends - anything. I always manage to write in such detail about the tiniest things. If I wouldn't have a diary, my mind would probably explode. It's also a nice way to write down memories and reflect on how your life has changed since then. In fact, yesterday I was reading last summer's diary and WOW things have changed SO much! Everything has. I also love to write the most random things and just laugh about it whenever I read them over.

If you've never tried writing in a diary, I recommend you to start, even if it's just a small note or just once a week - you'll feel so relaxed and especially if you feel like you need to talk about something but wish to keep it to yourself, it's a perfect way to let it all out.

Hope you've all enjoyed this little blog post. I will definitely write again soon!

Hope you're all having a great day! :) x

Norma

Spending the Day Inside

Heeeellloooo!

So i'm stuck indoors for the next 3 days as i'm ill. Of course, I have to find a way to pass the time. Here are a few things I enjoy doing..

1.Editing photos!

I've always loved to take photos but recently i've really got into editing and experimenting with different programs! These are a couple of photos i've taken..

(Photos taken at the beach St George's, Malta)

2. Drawing!

Honestly, I never liked art until I had taken a course and it inspired me to start. I started by sketching little drawings mainly for assignments but I ended up liking it so much, that I kept it as a hobby. I've drawn 3 of the Angry Birds, Jerry (from Tom & Jerry) and these 3 in the photo above.

3. Browsing the Web & Installing New Apps

Obviously, browsing the web is one of the most popular ways of passing the time. I enjoy reading articles and posting online.

 

4. Writing in My Diary

Writing is a way of expressing ourselves and that's why I love to keep a diary. I write about certain events and even stick little things that i've kept from a particular day! It's also a good idea to write if you're feeling down and wish to write about it rather than talk about it.

5. Decorating My Room!

I dislike having a plain, old, boring room. It gives off a bad vibe. So my idea was to decorate little things like this..

I collected many colourful paper clips, joined them all together making a chain and wrapped them around a bucket-shaped candle!








The other day, I went shopping and found this cute cushion with a quote "Do More Of What Makes You Happy" which I find very inspiring!

Also, who doesn't love having an organised, creative-looking desk?! I like to have a small notebook handy, mobile, some pens (as i love stationary!) and last but not least, a cup of coffee - yum!

6. Making delicious snacks!

I had made this for my mum. It consisted of 1 chopped banana, roasted almonds, raisins, 1 slice of chocolate from a bar of dairy milk and topped off with caramel syrup! It smelt, and surely tasted yummy!

7. Making a 'To Do List'

This is what keeps me productive throughout the day. If I don't have anything planned, I'm just going to lay down doing nothing. But if I've made a list of things I want to do during the day and complete them all, I'd feel so happy about it!

8. Treat Yourself!

My idea of 'treating myself' is having a cup of coffee. It's one of my favourite things and probably the most addictive habit I have. This just makes me feel so much better.

These were just a couple of things I do in my free time. I hope you've liked this post! 

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Norma x